On the Eve of Change
by Midori Akiko
Summary: It's New Years Eve, and Sui Feng is contemplating things in her life. A heart is a fragile thing. There is no happy ending here. Sorry. Takes place in the last week of the year because Christmas Eve, New Years Eve and Yoruichi's birthday are all conveniently within that timespan. Oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

_**There is no happy ending in this story. If you want one, look elsewhere. Also, it's really hard using this new spelling of Sui Feng. I am not a fan.**_

* * *

_One…two….three…four…_

Sui Feng counted each drop of water as it fell from the ice outside her window. She absent-mindedly turned a stone in her hand. To anyone but her, the stone was ordinary. It was amethyst colored, and shaped somewhat like a star, but other than that it was not outstanding in anyway. It possessed no secret powers, nor extra strength, yet she kept it with her everywhere she went. It was special to her and that was what mattered.

In a week, the year would turn over, and a new one would begin. And yet, Sui Feng felt as if she had not moved an inch. She was still treading in the same place that she'd been in for years.

There is something that happens to you when you lose someone. Your heart breaks, and you are met with a choice. You can either pick up the pieces and move on, or you can leave them where they were. Never moving on is dangerous. But little by little, just as a house is rebuilt, so too can a heart be healed.

She looked down at the little rock in her hand and slowly remembered the snowy winter night.

* * *

_"Oi! Sui Feng! Whatcha doin'?" _

The voice came from behind her, not from within Urahara Shop, which she'd been standing in front of.

"Yo-Yoruichi-sama, my apologies! I thought you were home," she said as she turned around and knelt. Her pulse was racing, from both excitement and nervousness. Approaching Yoruichi unexpectedly always made her a little on edge.

"Up, up! It's snowing! And what could possibly be so important on Christmas Eve?" Yoruichi motioned for the Captain to enter.

"Christ-what?" Sui questioned as she removed her shoes.

"Christmas Eve," Yoruichi repeated. "It's the day before Christmas. Humans celebrate it and give lots of gifts to everyone. It's some hippie dude's birthday or something."

"I see," Sui Feng replied, not really seeing at all and deciding not to ask further questions. Still she followed her deeper into the house. Sui was still a bit nervous and entering Yoruichi's home did nothing to quell her emotions. But this was Yoruichi-sama, she could not just refuse when Yoruichi had so graciously invited her in.

Yoruichi slid open a door and sat down at a nearby table. Sui waited for Yoruichi to motion her in before sliding the door shut and sitting down across of her. They were around a small tea table, with soft cushions atop a tatami mat floor. Very traditional indeed.

"Now, my busy little bee, what had caused you to take the trouble of coming all the way here?" Yoruichi rested her head on her elbow, grinning slightly at her guest. She was like a cat ready to pounce. Sui felt Yoruichi's eyes staring through her soul. She had no idea what was going through her head, and it made her face flush a little.

Sui Feng blushed and pulled a small package of her pocket. She placed it on the table and slid it across the table before returning her hands to her lap and bowing her head. She hoped that her gift was adequate for someone like Yoruichi-sama; she wasn't exactly the easiest person to shop for.

"Next week will be Yoruichi-sama's birthday, and due to my Captain's duties, I will be unable to bring your present on time."

"Oooooohhhh a present!" Yoruichi's face lit up and she grabbed the package with both hands. She shook it a few times, held it to her ear and held it out in front of her, weighing it. Sui's hands immediately flew up as if to stop her, before remembering whose presence she was in. She timidly reminded Yoruichi her birthday was not for another eight days.

Yoruichi looked a little miffed and stuck out a pouty lip. Sui Feng was on the verge of relenting and saying she could open her present now before Yoruichi cut her off.

"AH HA! That's right! I have a present for you!" and she got up and left the room.

"I'm not wor...th…y…" Sui said to no one in particular.

Yoruichi returned with a small box wrapped in a bright red bow. She tossed it to her former protege. When she just held it in her hands, Yoruichi encouraged her.

"Go on open it, it's a Christmas present for you!"

Sui Feng carefully untied the ribbon and carefully peeled back the paper, all to Yoruichi's rolling eyes. Finally, she opened the box. Inside was a small glass stone, not unlike a star, but with the color of the sun and of those…eyes. Sui looked up. There they were. And all at once, the feelings that she had suppressed so far down came rushing back to her.

She remembered her vow to always be by Yoruichi-sama, she remembered how her heart would leap when they spent time alone, and she remembered how her heart broke when she was left all alone. But mostly, she remembered the love she had for her, every time she looked in those golden eyes.

"I knew gold was your favorite color, so I figured you might like that." Yoruichi grinned. Her eyes were so bright. There was no doubt as to why gold was Sui's favorite color. She had no words, other than thank you.

"Finally, my bee is speechless! I guess that means you like it! Human traditions are not so bad are they?" Sui shook her head. No, she supposed they weren't.

* * *

As she turned the stone over in her hand, Sui thought of all the years that had passed between them. How many years had passed since she realized that she cared for Yoruichi more than any other person? So many. And how many times had she ever told Yoruichi of what was really in her heart? None.

The new year was a day away. Tomorrow would be Yoruichi-sama's birthday. She would make a change now. No more waiting. No more countless years passing by. No more allowing her fear to keep change from happening.

Sui left her lonely quarters and grabbed her haori. The winter air bit into her and she pulled her haori a little tighter around her. There was no one at the Senkaimon and she passed through with no questions.

It was snowing in Karakura town when Sui Feng stepped out of the gate. Her heart was racing as fast as her thoughts. She would confess to Yoruichi. She would profess her feelings and she would confront her fear of rejection. Her feet pulled up just as the Urahara Shop sign came into view.

What was she going to say? She hadn't actually thought of the words that she was going to use; the trip to the real world was a spur of the moment decision. She cursed herself. This is why one should think things through!

She looked at the shop; the door was slightly ajar and she could hear Yoruichi-sama's raccous laughter from inside. Sui walked up the steps and carefully peered inside.

Yoruichi had her arms around…him. Around his neck to be exact. And his arms were wrapped around her waist. They were obviously in the middle of a kiss. Sui tore her eyes away from the sight, at the same time tearing her heart as well.

Sui sped away as fast as she could. No longer able to see from the tears in her eyes, she blindly headed back to the gate. How foolish of her to think that Yoruichi would wait for her. How foolish to think Yoruichi had ever had the same feelings for her.

* * *

Yoruichi pulled the door back; she thought she felt Sui's prescence a second ago. Kisuke called for her.

"Yoruichi-san, come baaaaack! I must thank you again!" She looked back at him.

"I'm glad you like your present Kisuke, but really, keep your kisses to yourself. I let you have that one cause I felt sorry for you. Otherwise, people might get the wrong idea about us."

He pulled his striped hat low over his eyes.

"Yes, yes, forgive me, Yoruichi-san."

She looked back outside. Water was dripping from an icicle.

_One…two…three…four…._

* * *

_And sometimes, even when a heart has healed, there are still ways to break them once again. A heart is a fragile thing. It is capable of willing the body to fantastic feats, but it can be shattered in a moment._

Tears fell from Sui's eyes, no matter how hard she tried to stop them. They just wouldn't stop. She hated being weak.

"Forgive me, Yoruichi-san," she said for no reason at all. The tears kept falling.

_Five…six…seven….eight..._

* * *

_**Yossshaaa. This is my lame fic for Christmas Eve & New Years' Eve because mine personally sucked. **_


	2. A slightly happier ending

**_I wasn't feeling as mean as I thought. Here's a slightly happier continuation of Sui's flashback._**

* * *

"I have one more tradition for you, so follow me." They got up and left the room. Sui followed Yoruichi down the hall until she stopped randomly in front of the kitchen.

After nearly walking into her former Captain, Sui looked around quizzically. The messy kitchen looked the same as it had ever been. Yoruichi motioned upwards, pointing to a tiny bundle of green leaves hung above the doorway.

"It's called mistletoe," she explained, but she didn't elaborate any further. When the silence passed for a few seconds, Sui finally chanced a question.

"So what is the tradition?" She had a bad feeling about this. Yoruichi was grinning, slack posed, hands on her hips. She remembered that grin well. It usually ended with Sui on the short end of a well placed joke.

But nothing was happening. Yoruichi was just standing there, silently refusing to answer her question. No, something was happening. She was getting closer, almost….too close.

She tried to move away, but something was holding onto her. Yoruichi was gently grasping the front of her uniform, preventing her retreat.

She felt warm lips gently pressing against hers, and she forgot just who she was kissing. He eyes closed automatically, lost in the moment.

When she felt Yoruichi move away, she opened her eyes slowly. She saw a still grinning Yoruichi.

"Humans have some great traditions, don't they?" she asked Sui.

"Yes," she thought to herself, "those humans are pretty smart after all."

* * *

**_Okay, not this is really the end. At least this was not completely doom and gloom._**


End file.
